It's been a long time since my last post, I know. A lo-ooo-oooo-ooot of things happened in this meantime but I think the most important one is:
I survived.
For me, this second semester is definitely NOT 2008 anymore. It's 2008 part II. 2008 b. I forbade destiny, fate, God, the Force - whoever or whatever that keeps the Earth spinning and things happening - to make anything else bizarre to happen in my life for the next 3 years. I'm serious. You'll say blablabla we can't control this kind of thing blablabla - and I know it. But it's worth trying, right? Trying an agreement with these "powers" above and show that all that I went through this year was ALREADY enough. I have suffering material for years so I REALLY wish I could have a happy 2008b and 2009.
Thanks.
Actually I'm having a good 2008b. Somehow I could overcome at least part of all that fatherhood drama. I obviously have inner things to solve and it's expected that I have them - finding out about the father 29 years after being born is not something easy - and that would easily be two years in psycotherapy. The whole story is way too bizarre to be posted, but after I found out who my father was I found out he's already dead. More some years in psycotherapy. Then I was robbed and after I lost my job. Psycotherapy forever.
But as I said in the last paragraph, somehow I found a way to overcome at least a little bit of all these things. And I have new students, I teach in a new company, I'm happy with my new life. And to celebrate this new life and start my 2008b truly happy I chose Muse concert as my New Year's Eve and starting point for a whole NEW ERA. It was certainly the right choice. It was a very very emotional concert for me, I let myself get carried away and cried a lot during the presentation but who cares, it was my moment. The friend who was with me, certainly one of the best friends a person could have in the Universe, understood how I was feeling and held my hand in some songs (Feeling Good, certainly the song that made me cry A LOT) and jumped with me in other songs (Time is running out - our favorite!!!).
After my special New Year's celebration, that I totally deserved, I've been just trying to live one day after the other. Only that. No big plans, no worries about career, no big concerns. I'm just happy about not freaking out, about still being sane without taking any medicine, about my friends, about my no-strings-attached-yet-we're-together relationship ('im even ok with the fact that I know it won't last much but I really won't talk about this now), about my dance classes. I'm having a salsa presentation in december with my colleagues from the dance course and I'm very excited about it! I'll be on stage, I'll be dancing one of my favorite styles, I'll be surrounded by people who I like. It may sound cheesy, but these are the things that truly make me happy. Besides, a friend of mine said he's going to watch the presentation holding a big banner saying "I love Mexerica" - could he be any cuter? (Mexerica means tangerine and this is one of my nicknames. I'll tell why in another opportunity)
Needless to say I matured 5 years in 3 months. Also needless to point out that it is true that after the "storm" you look back and see how much you've learned with all the shit that happened. Duh. This is very obvious and I hate when people keep repeating all that Pollyanna crap. What I can truly say about all this is that I found out that I'm MUCH stronger than I thought I was. Sometimes I actually feel that I became a little bit insensitive - but again, I'll tell why in another opportunity. Another thing I can truly say is that my friends are the best. I wouldn't have survived without them.
Guess I can say that 2008b has been a great great year so far.
Me and my friend ecstatic, tired and very smiley after Muse played "Time is Running Out"!
ps: I don't know if my danish friends still read this, but guys, if you do I have to tell you: I miss you like hell!!!!! Come back to Brasil!
