A tad of honesty

When I first set up this blog my intentions were not true. Well, they were true, but that truth doesn't make sense to me anymore. I said I wanted to practice my writing. What I actually wanted was to communicate with some people related to my ex. My ex, the Mexican aka the Crazy Hair Dude. He is not a part of my life anymore. I have no connection with anyone related to him - except from a friend in common, but that's all. The only things I know about the Mexican are things that Facebook tells me.

My intentions now are 100% solid: I really want to practice my writing. Not only I need to but I also promised I'd do so in my last CELTA assignment and I take promises very seriously. That's why I decided to change this blog's name. I don't want to tell anecdotes about my life and change the ending, as I had planned to do years ago. I just want to spill out words. Ramdonly. About whatever I decide and as freely as possible. I'm even planning to go WILD and maybe not even really finish some texts. Isn't it rebel of me? ;)

"You know how I feel" is a sentence from my favorite song of all times: "Feeling Good". It was sung by Nina Simone, Michael Bublé and Muse. I obviously love Muse's version. Sorry Nina. Bublé, I don't really care about you. I would never name a blog of mine as "Feeling good". It's too optimistic and too much optimism is not my cup of tea - I'm a sarcastic gal and sarcasm and too much optimism do not go well together. "You know how I feel" is so appropriate because what I like the most about writing in blogs (and believe me, I know about writing in blogs, I've been doing this since 2002) is the fact that no matter what you're going through, there's always someone who's going through the same. And comments about it. And then you don't feel like you're the only one in the world who thinks like that. Or goes through like that. You feel like you belong somewhere, even if that "somewhere" is the "freak club". That's alright.

Because you know. I know. Everybody knows - even though this is not something we admit: being unique is good. However, what human beings really seek, what we really want, is to belong. Isn't it?

Whyyyyyy that hair, man?

(Facebook and its status update system shows everybody's pictures and, well, I saw yours. I could change the settings but 1) I'm lazy and 2) it's sort of funny seeing your weird pics on my timeline)

You don't rock a hair like that! Go to the hairdresser N-O-W. Get a haircut! Hippie days are over, dude, please, pretty please, have your damn hair cut. Thank you very much.

And that's exactly why it wouldn't have worked out between us. I'm futile enough to care about your long hair even though we haven't spoken for ages. You used to be cute! Where did that guy who used to worry about stupid things like haircut go?

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I think it's awesome that someone makes a choice in life and follows it through 'till the end. And, because of that choice, one changes everything around, just to go with the flow of that choice. You chose a horrible (lack of) haircut. That's great. I tell you, you'd never work in a company with that hair and goatee. Sorry, life's unfair and so is the corporate world. So what did you do? You, smartass, chose to be a scientist. Which means: the crazier-looking, the better. Congrats!

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I wish I could say I'm drunk and that's why I posted this fucked-up text, but I'm not. Believe me, I wish you all the happiness in the world but your hair is something that my kindness and my sweetness simply don't accept!

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I think I'm going to delete this post eventually but I'm the only one who reads this.

Annual professional crisis

Once a year, at least, I suffer from professional crisis. It's a time where I question every single step I've taken in my career as a teacher and get sad for the time I wasted during my educational crisis more than 10 years ago. It's ridiculous. I wish I could say it's pointless, though. It's not. When in a crisis I usually take great decisions and and decide to change things around. The only problem is that this time I cannot precise what the problem is. Or maybe this time the problem is more difficult to solve than before.

I'm here

It's been forever, I know. And I also know that probably nobody even knows about this blog. The last comments I got were from these crazy Japanese dudes, probably spammers - but I'm guessing here, I don't know a thing in Japanese and I was too lazy to use Google translator.

Last year I took an important teaching course. Now I hold a CELTA - Certificate of English Language Teaching for Adults. Which means that I'm a Cambridge certified English as a Foreign Language teacher and can teach anywhere in the world. It is a big deal in my field and I'm certainly proud of it. In my last CELTA writing assignment I said that one of the things I'd do to keep practicing was to write in this blog more often. As you can see, I haven't done that. Until tonight, when I was insomniac and couldn't stand stay in bed any longer.

So here I am. This is my comeback.