Almost 30 fucking years - Part I

I'm gonna borrow some words from people who express themselves much better than me. And, even more than that, they could find words that I couldn't find to say things that I simply can't talk about. At least now. You know, I've waited my whole life for this. My WHOLE life. As far as I can remember, the revelation I got today is one of the things I yearned for the most in my life. The truth is heavy. Almost unbearable. The truth hurts.


I could hurt you now
(Aimee Mann)

This is for the one who was false
Who taught me about building walls
One who could always turn it around
To leave me here on shaky ground
This is for the one who made good
In someone else's neighborhood

One who was never anything but
The shifty eye of sheer bad luck
Once I thought that I would never forget
And I have not quite done that yet

But I could hurt you now
I could hurt you now
This is for the time that I lost
The death of who I thought I was
The things in which I cannot believe
For fear I'll wear them on my sleeve
Things I know that will never be returned
But I crossed that bridge before it burned

So I could hurt you now
I could hurt you now
I could hurt you now
I could hurt you now
Maybe it leaves an invisible scar
But I have not come quite that far but
I could hurt you now
I could hurt you now